Last leadership training for Bring It On.

I think I vouged … then walked. I’ve never seen myself so happy :)

If I could describe what the ball felt like, I’d show them this photo. It felt like a blur. Like it happened too fast. Like it isn’t exactly clear what happened, and you want to repeat the moment again and again. Or freeze it if you can.

Okay, so maybe I didn’t get my Cinderella-moment-where-someone-sweeps-me-off-my-feet. So maybe he wasn’t there. But who cares. I enjoyed the night. And I think, happiness is a state of mind - not an effect of the things that happen around you. 

Besides, 10 years from now, I’ll probably remember it as a blur. 

Instructions to no-one.

Before you say, “Yes, I want to lead this”, I just want you to know that this requires a great deal of patience, determination, dedication, effort and faith.

Faith - on yourself and on the team. At times your team will make you feel hopeless, helpless and faithless. But don’t give up just yet. Make sure that you see this competition through. Get rewarded for everything you have put in this. If you lose, don’t give up. Try again next year and be better.

If you have any other commitments, be prepared to give it up at some point. Because this will require your heart and soul. You will have to dedicate a tremendous amount of time to see this through. 

You will need to be determined to win. Refuse to give up. Refuse to lose. But don’t forget to have fun and enjoy what you love. Because if you can’t win, you can at least say that the experience was great.

Above all, prepare to extend your patience. Things will go rough. You will lose hope, you’ll want to give up. It’s going to be hard - especially for the first steps you make. It’s going to be challenging. 

But it’s also going to be worthwhile. First, you are going to be chasing a dream. You may not have it before, but as you put your heart into it, winning will be a dream of yours. Maybe this is a baby step, compared to what you will face later on, but a baby step is better than to stay in the same place. 

Second, you won’t be proving them anything, but you will be showing them what you have and what you are most passionate about. Let your passion drive you. But don’t forget to use logic when needed.

The third reason, I will leave to you to figure out. But for me, I said yes, because I wanted that future university application to look good. But when my heart got involved, it started to mean so much more. I want it to be a way for me to inspire my team. I want to be the team’s fighting spirit - the one who will never give up on them, no matter how tough it gets. I want to keep my faith in them, even though they rob me out of it quite often. It’s not gonna last forever, but it will be worth it.

It’s going to be hard, but you can’t give up - not now, not ever. The first step is always the hardest, but please believe that destiny will not be broken. I would love to say more, but I’d like you to experience it. 

Oh and lastly, illegitimi non carborundum.

A letter to no-one.

I wish we had (or could have) time together. You can teach me how to play the electric guitar or I could sit back and stare at you in awe and amazement. I’ll try my best to quickly change from one chord to another, I promise. I’ll also try my best to teach you a dance set or two. And if I figure put that you’re a hopeless dancer, then we’ll just slow dance to my favourite ballad (which changes constantly, by the way).

I promise I’ll let you play your favourite bands on the stereo (even though, yes, I secretly hate it). Don’t worry, I’ll try and appreciate it. Or not. I’ll never put you down though. I’ll let you annoy the hell out of me, too, because I know I have better comebacks. 

When your guitar string snaps on your face, I’ll kiss the side where it left a mark. 

Will you please sing me to sleep - or play a random melody on your guitar? You could let me lay on your chest. So I’ll know the rhythm of your heartbeat. Because maybe, our heartbeats are synchronized.

Maybe we’re meant to be. 

And if we are, please know that I’ll make you feel loved every single day. You’ll be the first person I talk to, and the last person that crosses my mind before I drift off to sleep. 

I won’t use your weakness against you. I’ll let you make mistakes - within reason. I’ll forgive you. And when you don’t feel like talking, I’ll stay quiet (or try my hardest to cheer you up). We’ll have breath-taking moments together. And I promise to capture it in polaroids and words. 

All these and more, I will do, just in case you want to fall in love with me. I’d like to tell you all the things that are possible for us - but I don’t want to spoil whatever Fate has in-store for us. I should let things unfold.

I would write some witty caption, but I think it would still be pointless. I mean, it’s pretty self explanatory. 

“What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed in there, regardless. It wasn’t just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but something wider, bigger. We had many families over time. Our family of origin, the family we created, and the groups you moved through while all of this was happening: friends, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect, and we couldn’t expect them to be. You can’t make any one person your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it.” 

- Sarah Dessen (Lock and Key)

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight”

“What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?”

“So I can kiss you anytime I want”

(Sweet Home Alabama, 2002)

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

(Albert Camus)